To-morrow morning I shall have made up my mind what to do. She had even confided to him how lonely it was in the island. Lucy had just began to invoke a solace where John was concerned, doing her best to shelve him as not so special after all. When I have traversed the streets a houseless wanderer, driven with curses from every door where I have solicited alms, and with blows from every gateway where I have sought shelter,—when I have crept into some deserted building, and stretched my wearied limbs upon a bulk, in the vain hope of repose,—or, worse than all, when, frenzied with want, I have yielded to horrible temptation, and earned a meal in the only way I could earn one,—when I have felt, at times like these, my heart sink within me, I have drank of this drink, and have at once forgotten my cares, my poverty, my guilt. She could not analyse what was stirring in her: the thought of losing the doll, the dog, and the cat. You will be wearing your travelling dress, and no doubt you would prefer it.
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